


Pretty Popular

by Mntsnflrs



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Awkward Flirting, Dick Jokes, House Party, Johnny being like: Johnny, M/M, Mark being a sweetheart, Mark being like: nervous, Oral Fixation, Sexual Humor, dont count the amount of times the word like is in this fic please, once more i am spreading the hot chocolate agenda, thats really all these is to it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-26
Updated: 2020-06-26
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:47:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24932521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mntsnflrs/pseuds/Mntsnflrs
Summary: Jaehyun passed Mark a spicy chicken wing as they shared a picnic while mourning low essay scores. Jaehyun seemed more bothered about Mark’s emotional constipation than his shitty grades, exasperation written on his features as he followed the chicken wing with an extra napkin. “Just talk to him, dude. He won’t eat you.”“But I want him to,” Mark admitted, the sticky wing sad between his fingers. “That’s the problem.”
Relationships: Mark Lee/Suh Youngho | Johnny
Comments: 97
Kudos: 1117





	Pretty Popular

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sneakiest](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sneakiest/gifts).



> This is for the lovely Sneakiest! I hope you like it angel, and I hope everyone else enjoys too! xo

Mark wasn’t, like, Popular popular. He knew he was popular, but not… Popular. He just knew a guy that knew a guy that knew a guy and then somehow he ended up at a party full of strangers that somehow become friends for life and, like, actually wanted to chill with him and stuff once the hangover was gone. It was great, but he wasn’t, like, Popular.

This party was for people that were Popular. He let Jungwoo convince him to go, but only because he knew that Jaehyun would be there too, so he had a double buffer. But even then, as soon as he entered the house, he knew he was in trouble. He recognised most of the faces and names, but only from anonymous declarations of love on their college’s Facebook crush page. Everyone was older than him because Donghyuck was sulking about his midterm results and refused to come. Everyone was tall and beautiful and athletic; someone was snorting something suspicious off the dining table, and Mark felt way out of his depth.

He wasn’t popular enough for this.

Jungwoo made a faint noise in his throat, tugging on Mark’s long sleeve. “Is that Oh Sehun?”

Mark didn’t look. If he did he’d faint. “I don’t know,” he mumbled. “You wanna grab a beer?”

“If Sehun is here you know that means that Johnny-“

“Beer time!” Mark reversed Jungwoo’s hold, dragging him through the crowds towards the kitchen, where coolers upon coolers were stacked head high full of beer and cheap cider. He took a beer for himself and a cider for Jungwoo, but in the time it took for him to grab them Jungwoo had scurried away, leaving Mark on his own in a sea of scarily attractive people. Traitor. He put the cider back in the cooler and opened his beer, taking a sip and hoping that for once it would actually help with his nerves instead of exacerbating them. There were two ways drunk Mark could go – nervous and full of beer, or happy and full of beer. He was desperately hoping for the latter, especially if Johnny Seo was at the party, which, as Jungwoo had so kindly pointed out, was a certainty if Sehun was here.

It wasn’t that he hated Johnny or anything. No one hated Johnny, like, it was impossible. He was known for being the nicest guy ever, kind and considerate to literally everyone he met. He was renowned for his gentleness.

Which was the problem.

Johnny was big and muscular with cute tattoos and a killer smile, and Mark kind of wanted him to ruin him. He wanted to die by Johnny’s hands. Or his dick. He was still trying to figure it out, but to do that he needed privacy, lube, and a fuck tonne of research on what the hell he was meant to do with his prostate.

Of course, he knew he wasn’t the only one with a crush on Johnny. Things usually went in the following order: seeing Johnny, admiring him from afar, meeting him once, falling in love and wanting him to blow your back out.

The problem remained: Mark wasn’t Popular enough.

He was popular, but if there was a Venn diagram of his social sphere and Johnny’s, the circles would be in different countries. Jaehyun didn’t count because he was Jaehyun. He was an outlier that sprinted between the circles to stay toned, pausing for squats and lunges along the way.

Mark pushed through the crowd, greeting the few people he knew well enough to justify greeting, guzzling beer to avoid talking to the people that intimidated him. Despite his height, Jungwoo could hide well when he wanted to, and it was clear that on this occasion he really wanted to. He meant well, but sometimes the meddling of friends made Mark want to crawl into a hole and decay beneath the trees. He was embarrassing enough without their help.

A heavy hand landed on his shoulder, and he had to turn around pretending he hadn’t immediately made a honking noise at the contact.

“Did you pay for that beer?”

Oh God. In some ways, Yuta was worse than Johnny. He was shorter, but just as handsome. Twice as likely to tackle someone through a screen door.

“No,” Mark squeaked, praying not to prove his own theory. “Should I have paid?”

Yuta grinned, wide and bindingly pretty. “Nah,” he said. “I’m just checking because some loser is trying to con people out of their money like we’re not all poor as fuck and in debt because of education. If someone asks you for money, tell them to fuck off, okay?”

Mark nodded, eyes wide and painfully dry. He was scared to blink. “Thank you,” he croaked.

“No problem.” Yuta’s grin dimmed into something more comfortable. “Mark right? Mark Lee?”

He nodded again, at a loss.

“I’m Yuta.”

He shook the hand offered, hoping his palm didn’t feel as sweaty as he knew it was. “I know.”

Yuta raised a brow. “You do?”

Oh god. Oh god, time to run. “Aha… yeah,” Mark said, sounding lame even to his own ears. “Everyone knows who you are.”

“Says you.”

“Huh?”

“Golden Boy Mark Lee, top of everything,” Yuta said. “Thought you were too good for parties like this.”

It sounded harsh, but Yuta’s eyes were twinkling, like he was waiting to see if Mark would give in and piss himself like he wanted to. “I’ve never been invited before,” he managed to say.

Yuta laughed. “These parties don’t have invites, kid,” he said. “You just need the balls to turn up.”

“Ah,” he said. He wanted to play it cool, but this was honestly the biggest gay crisis of his entire life. He was in the same house as Johnny, he was talking to Yuta, and he resented Yukhei down to his core for helping him realise he kind of loved sucking dick.

“You wanna come upstairs?” Yuta invited. “We claimed the attic and pulled up the ladders. I only came down so I could use the bathroom.”

He wanted to go, but he didn’t want to go. Still, rejecting Yuta would be worse than anything else, so he nodded again, choking out what he hoped sounded like a casual, “Yeah, sure.”

Yuta laughed, swinging an arm over Mark’s shoulder before guiding him through the crowd. It was a weird place to be, under Yuta’s arm, in the middle of a house party he shouldn’t have gone to. He wondered where Jungwoo was, if he was watching from the shadows with wine in one hand and sending Mark a thumb up with the other. He wondered if God was watching. Hopefully not.

They climbed the stairs, and in the middle of the hallway, Yuta paused, whistling sharply. A big pair of eyes popped through the hatch in the ceiling, lighting up when they saw Yuta, widening when they saw Mark.

“Mark Lee is here?”

“He will be if you drop the ladders, dumbass.”

The boy pouted. “Mean, but I’ll allow it since you brought Mark. I’ve wanted to talk to him about his dance style for a while now.”

He disappeared out of view, and a couple of seconds later the ladders dropped. Yuta pushed Mark forward, and it was only when he was halfway up the ladder and into the attic that he realised those big eyes belonged to Lee Taeyong. Lee fucking Taeyong.

Yuta patted Mark’s ass gently. “Nearly there,” he said. “Don’t chicken out now, Markie, Taeyong won’t bite.”

It wasn’t the biting that scared Mark.

Nakamoto Yuta and Lee Taeyong in the same place, Oh Sehun downstairs, Jungwoo and Jaehyun nowhere to be found –

A big hand descended, grabbing Mark’s wrist and hauling him into the stuffy attic.

Johnny smiled down at him, long fingers still encircling Mark’s wrist. “You scared of heights or something?”

No. Not heights.

Jungwoo was sat with Jaehyun, watching Mark with unveiled pleasure, smile as wide as the sky. “Hi Mark,” he said. “We must have gotten separated at some point, I’m sorry. I was lucky enough to find Jaehyun though, and all of his friends. Isn’t this nice?”

No. Not nice.

Johnny waved a hand in front of Mark’s eyes, smile gentle. “You okay?”

No. Not okay.

Horny and terrified, maybe, but not okay. With Johnny’s warm hand against the bones of Mark’s wrist, he’d probably never feel okay again.

-

A couple more beers down, wedged in a circle between Jungwoo and Taeyong, Mark felt almost… relaxed. Not quite, because he knew he was still on edge enough that if someone shouted his name he’d cry, but he was past the point of fainting backwards and falling out of the attic headfirst.

The fact that Taeyong was much nicer than he looked definitely helped. From across campus he always looked so intimidating – perfect fashion, glossy hair, sharp jawline, and narrowed eyes. Up close he was blushing and giggly, eyes hazy from alcohol, hands moving quickly as he attempted to describe his dance method. Mark tried to follow, but it was difficult when he could feel Johnny’s eyes on him. He’d get comfortable every couple of minutes, relaxing onto the hard boards of the floor, listening to Taeyong’s rambling, and then Johnny would look at him again, his gaze so heavy that Mark couldn’t help but tense. He felt like an innocent ant beneath a morbidly curious eleven-year-old’s magnifying glass.

Except Johnny was in his twenties, and he was unbearably attractive, and Mark felt more like a worm than an ant. Wriggling a little hopelessly under scrutiny he didn’t know how to manage. Only occasional bangs or shouts from lower in the house would break the tension for a second as everyone looked at each other and waited for the sea of noise to resume.

Midway through a heated conversation about the validity of prawns on pizza, Taeyong threw himself backwards and stuck his head back through the hole of the attic entrance.

“Ohhh,” he said. “Guys, that last bang was Chanyeol.”

Johnny rubbed his face. “Did he slip on the stairs again?”

“Yeah. I thought I recognised the wail. Oh – Jongin’s got him, he’s okay. He’s limping, but he managed to keep hold of his beer. He’ll be fine.”

Mark frowned. “Park Chanyeol?”

Jeno adored him but had never gathered the nerves to go and speak to him. He was always cut up and bruised, and most people assumed that he was more aggressive than his big smile would suggest.

Johnny nodded. “Yeah. Clumsiest guy you’ll ever meet; I doubt he’s even drunk. Doesn’t know the length of his own legs.”

“Oh,” Mark said. He had a lot to report back when he eventually found the strength to use his legs and leave this party. Nakamoto Yuta thought Mark was funny. Lee Taeyong liked his passion. Jungwoo might be in the process of trying to fuck Moon Taeil, if the way they’d left together after only twenty minutes was anything to go by. Park Chanyeol wasn’t a fighter, just a faller. Johnny was _still_ staring at Mark. “Do I have something on my face?” he blurted out, and then wished there were a window close by so that he could hurtle out of it.

Johnny laughed. “No,” he said. “You wanna grab another drink, Mark?”

“Oh,” he said, unsure. “Okay. Do you want me to get one for you or something?”

Yuta pressed his lips together and looked to the ceiling as if praying for strength.

“No,” Johnny said, smiling as he stood. “I meant that we could go together.”

To say Mark’s heart almost fell out of his asshole would be an understatement. _“Oh,”_ he said again, stronger this time as he scrambled to his feet, “Okay. Sure, yeah. Sure.”

He followed Johnny out of the attic and through the crowded hallways like a loyal puppy, trying to keep his eyes level with Johnny’s shoulder, despite the fact that they kept straying to his ass. It wasn’t Mark’s fault; Johnny had a good ass.

Johnny reached into the top cooler and pulled down two beers, passing one to Mark before continuing out of the door in the kitchen into the back garden of the house. After a moment of hesitation, Mark followed.

He was glad he did. Johnny made himself comfortable on a sun lounger and patted the one beside him, gesturing for Mark to join. Once they were both sprawled, Johnny cracked open his beer and sighed, closing his eyes and tipping his head back. “You okay, Mark?”

Mark startled. “Who? Me?” despite being the only person close by. Despite literally being Mark.

Johnny just opened his eyes and smiled again, every guy and girl and other’s wet dream. “Yeah, you. I know they can be a lot sometimes, despite meaning well. You looked a little overwhelmed, so I wanted to make sure you got some air.”

Sweet.

Mark looked down at his beer, sure his cheeks were red again. “I’m okay,” he said softly. “But thanks.”

“No problem.” Johnny combed a hand through his hair, just long enough for it to fall straight back into his eyes. “Mark Lee at one of these parties, huh? Never thought I would see the day.”

“Yuta said that too,” Mark muttered. “But I really don’t get what you mean.”

“You’re like the shining star of the performance department,” Johnny said. He didn’t sound accusatory, just vaguely amused. “Everyone knows you, but no one actually _knows_ you. You’re never at parties like this.”

“I go to parties,” Mark said, defensive even though he knew he had no reason to be. He didn’t want Johnny to think he was some kind of reclusive nerd, though half of the time he kind of was. Still, Johnny seriously didn’t need to know about that.

“I know you go to parties, but not ones like these,” Johnny said. “You go to the frat parties, the ones too big to see anyone, the ones where it’s easy to slip right back out. You’re never at house parties, are you?”

Mark had never looked at it like that. “Like I told Yuta, I’ve never been invited.”

Instead of saying he didn’t need an invite, like Yuta had told him, Johnny just raised an eyebrow and smiled. “Well consider this an official invite.”

“To… what? Which party?”

“All of them.”

-

After their beers they went back to the attic, and not long after that Mark decided in his drunken, hungry state, that it was time to go home and eat five slices of toast before passing out fully clothed like he knew he would.

Taeyong kissed him on the cheek, Yuta smacked him on the back, Jaehyun gave him a fist bump, and Johnny just smiled, his eyes as dark as ever. “Get home safe,” he said. “See you around, Mark.”

It felt almost like a challenge. Drunk, toast hungry, and oddly horny, Mark raised his chin. “Maybe you will,” he said.

“I hope so.”

That burst Mark’s courage bubble. “Aha… yeah,” he said weakly. “Bye guys.”

Taeyong waved. “Bye Mark!”

And then he was walking home, sending Yukhei a string of garbled texts that made very little sense, asking for him to find the toaster somewhere in the middle of it all.

By the time he reached their apartment, there was already a plate of buttery burnt toast waiting for him. Yukhei stood munching on his own slice, hair messy, crumbs on his face, erection evident through his pyjama bottoms. “Hey,” he said when he saw Mark. “Sorry about the extra visitor, I was midway through a sexy online roleplay thing when you text.”

“Visitor?”

“My dick.”

It was hardly a visitor. It had been in Mark’s mouth many times, and it was a big part of Yukhei. By this point, Yukhei’s dick was a familiar sight in their apartment. It did make Mark cautious when he picked up his plate of toast, though. “You washed your hands before touching the bread, right?”

Yukhei nodded, chewing sleepily. “I even scrubbed my nails. No one wants dick toast.”

“Thanks, man,” Mark said, appeased. He took a big bite and moaned lowly. Sometimes there was nothing better than a dubious amount of toast.

“What did your texts mean?” Yukhei asked. “I understood the bit about Johnny and beer, but you lost me when you started talking about an open invitation.”

Mark waved a dismissive hand before going back to his toast. “Ask me again when I’m sober, dude. I barely know my birthday right now. I just want toast and sleep.”

Yukhei raised his slice in solidarity. “To toast and to us,” he said before shoving the rest into his mouth. He brushed the crumbs from his hands onto his pyjama bottoms, then dumped his plate into the sink. “I’m going to jerk off and then sleep. Night, man. Love you.”

“Thanks for the toast,” Mark said, watching Yukhei walk back to his room. Softer, maybe a little too quiet, he said, “I love you too.”

-

It’s only when Mark actively tries to make time for extra partying that he realises he literally doesn’t have the time. He’s either working, dancing, tutoring, studying, sleeping, or an unhealthy combination of all of them. The parties he manages to attend are ones full of friends of friends or people that once again know a guy that knows a guy that knows a guy – they’re the parties he always goes to.

He downs shots with Jaemin, plays beer pong with Jeno, dances with Yukhei, and then helps Renjun carry Donghyuck home at the end of the night. And now that Johnny had pointed it out, Mark couldn’t help but notice just how big those parties were. They were always on or near campus; never contained to a single house. There were usually hundreds of people spilling outdoors, overflowing onto balconies and gardens and neighbouring buildings. The parties were vast in a way that if you lost a friend, the likelihood of finding them again was close to nil. Mark would see Yuta’s vibrant red hair through the depth of a crowd, push forward to greet him, only to have lost him in the process. He wouldn’t see him again. He’d hear Taeyong’s squeaky giggle, but never spot his big eyes. He’d feel Johnny’s heady gaze on his back, but when he turned around it would be someone else drunkenly chatting him up.

Johnny was right. These parties were big and, in a way, completely impersonal. They were great if you went with friends and managed to stick with them, but once separated you were left afloat in an unfamiliar, unending sea. There were no dark corners not occupied, no secret spaces. No attics for a small circle of friends, a couple of beers, and a drunken argument over whether prawns belonged on pizza. Big parties were great for making new friends, but they weren’t so good for finding old ones and keeping sight of them.

He felt a little guilty, a little like he was a coward. No house parties, no conversations with Johnny. Was he avoiding it, or was he really just this busy? He felt busy, but he also felt nervous. He was nervous at the best of times, but Johnny had a way of staring that made Mark want to drop to his knees, and if he forgot where he was and did that in public he’d never forgive himself. He could live through the humiliation of pissing himself on stage during a Christmas play when he was six, but exposing himself as a needy fucking baby for Johnny Seo at the age of twenty was in another league of embarrassment. That was moving to the Alps and farming goats for the rest of his life levels of embarrassment. He’d have no choice but to book the next flight to Austria and hope that there was some land and accompanying goats at a discount price.

“You could just, like. You know,” Yukhei said one evening, gesturing widely.

“No,” Mark said, mystified. “I don’t know.”

“Invite him to dinner. Buy him a drink. Choke on his fingers, sit on his dick, etcetera.”

“Didn’t you listen to the part about Austria? It’s too humiliating!”

Yukhei’s eyes narrowed. “You didn’t say anything about Austria. What does Austria have to do with the Johnny shaped dildo beneath your mattress?”

“It’s not Johnny shaped!”

“It’s dick shaped, and it’s Johnny’s name I hear through the walls. Excuse me for adding two and two together.”

Donghyuck’s eyes rose from his phone. “Don’t pretend you can add, Yukhei. Go back to foaming at the mouth over Kunhang and stop acting like you’re any less pathetic.”

Mark would feel honoured if he thought for a second that Donghyuck had stopped texting Renjun to defend him, but he knew the truth. Donghyuck stopped texting Renjun so that he could insult Yukhei. It had little to do with Mark’s besmirched honour.

It did make him wonder though. Lusting after Johnny – was he being creepy? Was he being a creepy creep?

“Guys, am I a creep?”

“Yeah,” Donghyuck said, eyes back on his phone.

Yukhei put his large hand on Mark’s knee. “You’re not a creep,” he said, suddenly earnest in the funny way he could be. One moment he was complaining, the next he was giggling, and then he was painfully sweet, all in a matter of minutes. It was enough to give anyone whiplash. “You’re not creepy, you just have a crush. That’s not weird unless you make it weird.”

“Isn’t jerking off making it weird?”

“Nah,” Yukhei said, waving a hand. “It would be weird if like, you stored up the semen and gave it to him, but I don’t think you’re the kind of person that would do that, so you’re good.”

“Thanks,” Mark said faintly. If sending Johnny his old cum was the barrier, he had a long way to go until he was crossing any creepy lines, considering the most he did was scroll through Johnny’s Instagram and sigh wistfully before searching ‘SPORTY TWINK GETS POUNDED BY JOCK.’

He just – it felt weird. Not bad, just odd. He was what, on the few occasions they’d met, Ten had called, a Baby Gay. He didn’t have much experience beyond the uncomfortable stuff he’d seen on porn and the experimental stage he’d gone through with Yukhei, thankfully in the past. (Not because Yukhei was bad or anything, but because they’d been in sound agreement that bro status came first. It was nice to feel wanted for something other than his perky ass and his nice cheekbones.)

But yeah. Mark was still, in a way, coming to terms with his Baby Gay status, and his sexuality as a whole. He’d always kind of known, but at the same time, before college he’d been too shy to prove it to himself, and now here, he was still too shy to actively go out and slut it up as Donghyuck so vehemently insisted.

Johnny was… Johnny.

In all the time Mark had known of him, Johnny had never had a relationship that lasted more than a couple of weeks. They never seemed to end on bad terms, because he was too kind for that, but he was also still Johnny Seo, and kind or not, the pain of being rejected by him would be something poor Baby Gay Mark wouldn’t easily overcome. And worse: what if he wasn’t outright rejected? What then? They go for dinner and Mark gets pasta on his shirt, or gets too drunk and vomits wine onto the sidewalk outside? No. He’d rather stay in those big, impersonal parties, where Yuta can’t find him in the crowd, where Johnny can’t pass him a beer and lead him outside, where they can’t sit together for over an hour, laughing at each other and talking about the most mundane things but somehow finding joy in it.

“You know the saying,” Donghyuck said, apparently once again invested in the conversation for a fleeting moment, “If you wanna get over someone you have to get under someone else.”

-

It was definitely an idea, but Donghyuck had a fondness for ignoring Mark’s shyer side for the good of the cause. Therefore, in Mark’s opinion, it was definitely an idea, but a bad one.

A very bad one.

With that said, he politely decided to ignore it and pretend Donghyuck had never spoken. It was a road well-travelled for Mark, considering that all of his friends combined had the brain capacity of an iceberg lettuce. Wilful ignorance was often the only viable choice.

Still, the realisation that letting someone else rearrange his guts wouldn’t solve the Johnny problem didn’t help with morale. Crushes were always so… weird. How much was too much to know? To want to know? Could everyone else see it on his face when he passed a beer garden and saw Johnny with pink cheeks, his head thrown back as he laughed with his friends? Was it obvious in the way that Mark stared? Was it obvious in the way he hesitated, as if trying to find the courage to approach, only to bite his lip and walk away instead? His friends knew, but that was because they shared everything. Could strangers tell? Could Yuta? Taeyong? Could _Johnny_ tell?

Life moved forward, and, whether he wanted it to happen or not, Mark saw Johnny everywhere.

He’d be running laps around the campus while Mark trudged to his eight am classes. He’d be stood outside of the library helping the cheerleaders hand out flyers while Mark and Renjun were inside working together on a presentation. He’d be buying chicken and vegetables in the mini mart while Mark had a basket full of ramen, hiding behind a shelf stacked high with milk, praying that Johnny wouldn’t turn around and see him there in his pyjamas and hoodie, enough sodium in his basket to erupt a hundred handmade volcano science projects.

It wasn’t fair. He looked so good. He was so nice.

Who let it happen? Which cruel god put Johnny Seo on the earth only to make every other person look like stinky garbage in comparison?

Jaehyun passed Mark a spicy chicken wing as they shared a picnic while mourning low essay scores. Jaehyun seemed more bothered about Mark’s emotional constipation than his shitty grades, exasperation written on his features as he followed the chicken wing with an extra napkin. “Just _talk_ to him, dude. He won’t eat you.”

“But I want him to,” Mark admitted, the sticky wing sad between his fingers. “That’s the problem.”

-

Sometimes he almost envied Donghyuck.

They’d been friends for almost a decade, and Mark had experienced both pleasure and pain by being a first-hand witness to the way Donghyuck had blossomed. What had started out as a scarily ambitious kid with a heart of gold had turned into a young man that was almost painful to look at; sly eyed and beautiful, with a mind too quick and a heart slightly too soft. And yet, he’d somehow found his match and the courage to latch on, like he knew it was a once in a lifetime thing, like he understood right away that for him, it would always be Renjun or no one.

Mark didn’t know anyone else that had the kind of determination to just go out and get what he knew would make him happy. He didn’t know anyone as strong as Donghyuck, and that was what he thought about as he made his way into another huge party full of strangers, losing Jeno immediately as they were both swept away by different currents.

After some beer and a couple of weird thumb games with dudes twice Mark’s height and like four times his width, he managed to find Mina and spend an hour or so catching up with her and her friends. To his surprise but not alarm, many of the girls seemed to find him cute enough to coo over, stroking fingers across his skin and pinching his cheeks. One moment he could ignore it, talking to Mina, the next moment someone had brought out a blush compactor and someone had a vicelike grip on his head while another well-manicured hand attacked his eyebrows with a spoolie. Mina sat happy and watched it all, happily ignoring Mark’s half-assed complaints, easily drowned out by the chorus of compliments as the girls pampered him.

It was nice to look around and see he wasn’t the only guy – there were athletes and comp sci kids and everyone in between and they were all getting blushed and spoolied. It was just one of those parties, he guessed, where everyone shucked off their typical roles and just let things happen. Mina and her friends were convincing and kind, and to let yourself close your eyes and relax in their company was a sweet kind of blessing, the kind you didn’t know you needed until your head was in someone’s lap, the smell of perfume tickling your nose as voices murmured above your head and fingers stroked through your hair.

“You’re awesome,” Mark said to Mina without opening his eyes. “So awesome.”

“Thanks,” she said warmly, pinching his cheek. “You are too. Give me Jaehyun’s number?”

Mark laughed. He would, but Mina deserved better than pining for a guy that was totally invested in someone else, and as much as Jaehyun liked to pretend otherwise, every conversation about love found a way back to Kim Doyoung, elusive and ambitious, apparently always out of reach. “Can’t do that,” he said. “You deserve better. He doesn’t even have sheets on his bed.”

“Oh _ew,”_ she said, immediately deterred. “No thank you.”

Mark hummed. “If I find someone worth your while, I’ll let you know.”

Mina kissed his forehead. “You better,” she said. “But for the time being, you should probably run away. The girls are pulling out the eyeshadow palettes, so unless you want a beautiful cut crease I’d leave while you can.”

Mark didn’t hesitate. He left to the sound of Mina’s laughter, happy and fond, and found that her smile kept his smile steady as he threaded back through the crowd, entirely unsure of where he was going or who he was going towards.

-

He didn’t see Jeno at all. Not for the entire evening.

He was kind of disappointed, but not sad. Definitely not bored. A couple of hours in, Jungwoo found him. They danced for a while, Jungwoo clingy and giggly, Mark fond and resigned to the constant touches.

“You look super cute,” Jungwoo said, rubbing his nose against Mark’s ear. “Are you wearing blush?”

“Just a little,” Mark said. “It was meant to be subtle.”

“It is,” Jungwoo said. “It’s good. It’s cute. You’re good, and you’re cute.”

Mark laughed, pulling away slightly. “Dude, how wasted are you? I’m not Taeil, you know.”

Jungwoo pouted, cocking his head. “I know that, silly. I’m trying to make Johnny jealous for you.”

Mark’s hand spasmed against Jungwoo’s shoulder, momentarily looking something like an origami squid before settling again. “Johnny?” he said faintly. He’d been looking, but he hadn’t seen Johnny at all. Not a glimpse.

“He only just arrived,” Jungwoo murmured, pulling Mark close again. “He came with Jaehyun and Taeyong. How long will you keep him waiting, Markie? All he wants to do is know you better.”

“Huh?”

“Don’t you want to? Last time was the perfect opportunity, but Taeyong told me you left only a couple of hours after I did, and you didn’t even give Johnny your number. How can he make a move if you won’t let him?”

“I – I don’t _understand.”_

Jungwoo spun Mark suddenly, clutching his back to his chest, swaying. He kissed Mark’s cheek. “Look to your left,” he whispered.

Mark looked, and immediately his eyes found Johnny. He was dressed casually, jacket hanging from his shoulders, beer in hand. He wasn’t looking at Mark but laughing at something someone else was saying, hair in his eyes, grin splitting his cheeks. As Mark stared, Johnny glanced his way, and their eyes met. His grin faded for a moment, but he nodded to Mark, offering a different smile instead, one less amused and more polite.

He didn’t like that. Mark really didn’t like Johnny sending him a polite smile. Polite. What the hell did a polite smile mean?

“You want him, don’t you Mark?” Jungwoo whispered.

Mark found himself nodding.

“Then get him.” Jungwoo shoved him forward and once again did his disappearing act into the crowd, leaving Mark on his own with nothing to do but stare helplessly at Johnny who had seen the entire thing and was now clearly holding back laughter.

There were two options now. Mark could run into the crowd and all the way home, cry about it, receive a pity handjob from Yukhei, then sleep miserably. _Or_ he could be brave, greet Johnny, maybe not fuck everything up, and maybe actually enjoy his company without swallowing his own tongue.

When he phrased it like that to himself, there was really only one option, and it didn’t involve Yukhei jerking him off with one hand while the other played Episode on his phone.

He approached Johnny before his thoughts could linger on the nervous dread of it all and stuck out a hand.

Johnny smiled, looked down at Mark’s offered hand, and laughed. He shook it gently. “Hey Mark. Long time no see.”

He was so handsome. So nice. So entirely out of Mark’s league that any attention at all, even if it was kind of embarrassing, was reducing him to nothing more than a red mess.

“Yeah,” Mark said. “D’you wanna grab a drink?”

Johnny’s smile widened. “Sure. Here?”

“No,” Mark said, trying for bravery. “Outside? There’s a cool spot on the roof that not many people go to. It isn’t as cosy as an attic or anything, but it’s nice. You can see the stars.”

“Do you like stars?”

“What’s not to like?”

Johnny just continued to smile. He brushed his hair out of his eyes and shrugged with one shoulder. “Lead the way then.”

So Mark did. He waded through the crowd, and every time he caught a glimpse of himself in a window or mirror or phone screen, Johnny was a steady presence behind him, following close. When Mark tripped over a stray shoe, Johnny grabbed him by the elbow and helped him upright. Mark muttered thanks, but it was too quiet to be heard over the volume of the crowd. He focused on getting them out of it, instead. Lots of people tried to stop him to talk, high five or hug or catch up on some kind of gossip, but Mark felt too strained to risk this chance. Jungwoo hadn’t given him this moment only for him to fuck it up.

_All he wants to do is know you better._

Six flights of stairs later, and they finally emerged onto the roof.

Mark’s first reaction was disappointment. Despite his forced confidence, the roof was almost as crowded as the inside of the building, and the sky was too overcast for any stars to be seen. He pouted, turning back to Johnny. “I guess someone out there is trying to prove me a liar. Sorry.”

Johnny squeezed his shoulder. “I didn’t come up here to actually see the stars, Mark. I came up here to talk to you. I don’t mind what colour the sky is, as long as you’re in sight beneath it.”

Jaemin had an odd habit of staring deep into Jeno’s eyes and proclaiming ‘Marriage.’ He did it whenever Jeno said something especially soft and heartfelt, whenever he did something kind and thoughtless, like stopping to buy Jaemin’s favourite chocolate on the way home, picking up extra razors because he knew Jaemin was odd about sharing the same one for both of their faces when he stayed over.

_Marriage._

Mark kind of wanted to scream it right into Johnny’s perfect face.

He kind of wanted Johnny to look at him forever, as sweaty as it made his back because of coffee and beer and nerves. He kind of wanted Johnny to squeeze his ass instead of his shoulder. He kind of wanted to be kissed beneath the heavy clouds.

Instead of voicing any of that, he put his hand over Johnny’s wrist, tugging him forward so that they could wander between the small groups of people, looking for enough space to sit. Looking for a quiet spot both above and below the noise, out of sight and out of mind.

There was only one corner that had any room, a couple of flat cushions making the concrete a little more inviting. The light was low, because the fairy lights were at the other side of the roof, but it worked out anyway. Mark found it easier to meet Johnny’s eyes as they sat because he could barely see them.

“Hi,” he said, when he realised he couldn’t think of anything else to say.

Johnny smiled again. The expression was well used, comfortable. It was seared on the inside of Mark’s eyelids. “Hi Mark,” he said. “How are you?”

“Okay,” Mark said. He looked down at the beer in his hands, picking at the wet label with the edges of his fingernails. His heart was stuttering slowly, but he could hear Jungwoo’s voice in his head, soft and knowing and far too kind to ever lead Mark in the wrong direction. _How can he make a move if you won’t let him?_

So much of attraction went unspoken. Mark could see it in Johnny’s warm, chocolatey eyes, like syrup and coco. He could see it in the way Johnny leant himself against the wall, the way he curled his legs to the side so that his upper torso was closer to Mark. He could see it in the slow movements of his hands, the way he twirled the ring on his thumb thoughtlessly as he chewed on his bottom lip.

What could he see in Mark? What confirmed the reciprocation beyond the evident shyness? Was it the way Mark restlessly pulled at the label of his beer? The way he crossed his legs, tapping on the bone of his ankle every so often? The way he looked up through his hair, involuntarily but so obviously trying to appear smaller, cuter, more appealing? He wanted Johnny to see the attraction in him, but he was scared. Out of his depth. He wanted the feeling to be reciprocated, but the outcome of reciprocation was almost as terrifying as rejection. He felt so comfortable in crowds of strangers, but to be seen like this was something else entirely.

“Johnny,” he said, sick of questioning himself, “Are you attracted to me?”

Johnny’s eyes widened, somehow gentling even further. “Sure I am,” he said. “But right now I just want to know you a little better, if you’ll let me.”

“What… do you want to know?”

“Why I make you so nervous.”

Mark looked down. He knew he was cherry red again, but now was his chance to be honest. “It’s just embarrassing, man,” he said, rolling the wet label between his fingers. The ink smudged, fading into the faint lines of his fingerprints. Hopefully no one was looking to steal his identity at the party. “Guys like you and guys like me are in different circles. We run in different crowds. It’s just embarrassing.”

“You’re embarrassed by me?”

Mark’s eyes shot up. “No!” he shouted, way too loud. He lowered his voice, still panic stricken. “God no, how could I be? I’m scared that I’d embarrass _you.”_

Johnny relaxed his shoulders, settling back further into the wall. He seemed to lose half of his height like that, diminished in size but not spirit. “Mark Lee,” he said. “Do you have major issues with object permanence?”

It drew Mark up short. “Huh?”

“When you’re not staring in the mirror do you forget that you exist? That people outside of yourself can see you? Do you seriously have no idea how loved you are?”

He felt the moment his throat closed that his voice was going to come out small and squeaky. “What?”

“Social circles mean nothing. They’re just there to make unlikable people feel better about their lack of wider friends. I don’t care about stuff like that Mark, but even if I did, you’re not as far away as you seem to think you are. Yeah, I’m well liked, I put a lot of effort into being a person my mom will be proud of. But you – you’re like a fucking prince. Everyone here adores you, from the lecturers to the TAs to the upperclassmen to the undergrads. You’re so young and somehow in a matter of a year and a half became the centre of the universe for so many people here. Everyone likes you, Mark. Everyone wants to know you. As much as I like to think I’m special, I know for a fact I’m not the only one on this roof that wants to sit with you and talk about the clouds.”

Mark didn’t know what to say. He pointed up at the sky. “You see how they’re kind of flat and long? That means they’re Altostratus clouds.”

Johnny laughed tiredly. “Fuck.”

“Sorry,” Mark said, miserable. “I’m panicking.”

“Am I seriously that scary?”

“No,” he said, hedging around the real matter. “I just – “ he sighed. “Did you know I like you?”

Johnny rested his cheek on one hand, impossibly soft looking, impossibly fond. “I know. For a while now. That shelf of milk didn’t hide you as well as you thought it did."

Mark groaned. He wanted to hide his face, but the thought of leaving inky fingerprints on his face made him keep his hands down. “How long have you known?”

“Since before that first party. I know Yukhei through Kun, and he let it slip one night that his housemate had, in his words, a big fat crush on me. I doubt he remembers it, considering how drunk he was. He’s a big guy, it took like three bottles of white wine to knock him out completely, and even then he was still singing under his breath.”

Mark wanted to be mad at Yukhei, but he really couldn’t. This was a mess mostly of his own making. “Okay,” he said faintly.

“You seem really stubborn about not giving me a chance to return your feelings,” Johnny said. He didn’t sound accusatory, just confused. “Have I done something? Or would you rather we didn’t interact? I don’t want to make you uncomfortable, Mark.”

“You don’t make me uncomfortable; I make myself uncomfortable,” Mark admitted. This was too much to say for something that couldn’t even count as a first date, but Johnny deserved the truth. Mark could only imagine how confusing it must have been to have Mark mooning over him from the shadows, only to duck tail and run whenever they met in person. “I don’t have… experience,” he said. “I don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t want to humiliate myself more than I already have. I don’t want to ruin things, and it’s easier to make sure I don’t do that if nothing happens at all.”

“I’m not perfect,” Johnny said, frowning. “Why do you think you’re the only one here that’s human? Anything could happen. I’m not going to judge you for stepping in dog shit or getting icecream in your hair.”

Mark just shrugged. This wasn’t going the way he’d imagined, but it also wasn’t a complete loss. Johnny hadn’t left yet. “You’re just cool,” Mark said. “It intimidates me.”

After a moment of quiet, Johnny straightened. “Okay,” he said. “Let’s figure this out together then. You want to know me better, and I want to know you better, but I intimidate you. What kind of parameters would make you more comfortable? You tutor, right? Why don’t you tutor me?”

Tutor Johnny Seo? Mark couldn’t help but laugh. “What the hell would you need tutoring for?”

Johnny smirked. “Maybe I have a presentation coming up and can’t figure out Microsoft PowerPoint. Maybe I need help coming up with some sick word art and slide transitions.”

Mark laughed again, bringing a hand up to cover his mouth. “You’re kidding.”

“Am I? It’s up to you to figure out,” Johnny said. He pulled out his phone, wiggling it until Mark realised he was meant to do the same. He unlocked his phone and then swapped with Johnny, typing out his own number as Johnny did the same. Once they had their own phones back, Johnny stood, offering a hand to help Mark up too. “I’ll text you my address. If you want to come and teach me how to use PowerPoint, come over tomorrow evening. I have snacks and stuff. Don’t – don’t feel any pressure, Mark. If you don’t want to come, I get it, and I’ll figure out the presentation. Just do what you want to do. Do what feels right. Don’t listen to the voice in your head that’s telling you you’re not good enough, because I know for a fact that if you need me to, I can scream much louder.”

-

Mark walked home in a dreamlike state. Johnny had texted him as soon as he’d dipped from the party, a simple address with a little green heart at the end.

Jeno had texted at some point too, asking Mark where he was, asking why Yuta had accosted him demanding information about Mark’s current relationship status on behalf of an ‘unnamed interested party.’

It had been a long evening. A lot had happened.

Hell, in Mark’s life it seemed like a lot was always happening. Most of the time it was good, but sometimes he felt stuck in the middle of a busy highway, trying to cross while dodging cars that drove like bullets.

A lot was happening. Johnny wanted to reciprocate. Johnny needed help with fucking Microsoft PowerPoint of all things. He had given Mark an opening – no pressure – to make himself a viable option. He had given Mark the opportunity to declare himself open to pursuit.

Johnny was stood at the other side of the highway, laptop open, presentation half finished.

Now Mark just had to trust himself to thread between the cars.

-

Johnny’s apartment was so much cleaner than Mark had expected. It put his own pit to shame.

His thoughts must have been obvious because Johnny laughed as he ushered Mark inside. “Living with Taeyong and Doyoung doesn’t leave me much of a chance to be the gross dude I know I have the potential to become. Have you met Doyoung yet?”

“No,” Mark said, trying to picture him. He knew that Jaehyun was half in love with him, but the other half resented him. He could picture someone tall and slender, willowy. Someone soft with a weighty voice, like each word spoken was important. Big eyes, dark hair, small lips, big mouth. “I think I’ve seen him with Taeyong though, from like, a distance.”

Johnny hummed, gesturing for Mark to follow him to the couch where his computer was propped up beside two drinks. They looked like hot chocolates, and for the first time since almost vomiting from fear on arrival, Mark was glad that he had come. The thought of one hot chocolate going cold without Mark there to drink it made him sad for some unfathomable reason.

“Make yourself comfortable,” Johnny said, tucking his feet under his legs. Mark joined him on the couch, trying not to stare at the way Johnny’s sweatpants hugged his thighs. Trying not to stare at the low neck on his black shirt. Trying not to look in his general direction at all as he passed over the laptop to let Mark peer at the work so far which was… yeah. An extremely basic PowerPoint presentation.

“What is it you need help with here?” Mark asked, flicking through. It was stuff about film development and the importance of lenses, stuff he could barely understand. There wasn’t exactly a vault of untapped knowledge he could add to the topic.

“You know when one slide parts like curtains to reveal the next slide? I want that.”

It finally made Mark look at Johnny, who was grinning. “Excuse me?”

“I want the slides to go, like, to the sides? Like curtains. Oh! Or they could do the thing where they turn into tiny squares and fade away, that one is cool too.”

“You were… serious about me helping you with slide transitions?”

“Yeah.”

Mark couldn’t blink. “Why?”

Johnny’s smile widened. “Because I think it looks awesome and I wanted an excuse to see you.”

Mark felt his cheeks warm, though it wasn’t the humiliating puddle he assumed he would become. It was just… warm. Johnny wanted to see him. He’d made Mark a hot chocolate, even though there had been no guarantee he would even turn up. Mark wasn’t Popular enough for this, but he was beginning to realise that Johnny didn’t give a shit. He was beginning to realise that he shouldn’t either.

Mark added a couple of random transitions to Johnny’s presentation before closing the laptop and setting it aside. “This is way too embarrassing for me to tell you while making eye contact, so I’m just going to stare out of your window while I say it,” Mark said. He picked up the hot chocolate, took a sip, burnt the roof of his mouth, and put it back down. “I’ve had a crush on you forever. Since before I realised I like guys, really. I’m not – my only experience is Yukhei, and that was kind of a self-discovery for both of us. Neither of us knew what we were doing, and both of us felt sorry for ourselves because we had feelings for people we thought were out of our league.”

Johnny hummed. He put a hand on Mark’s thigh, making him jump. After a moment he began to settle beneath the touch though, calming. Johnny’s palm was warm and wide, heavy. Mark’s leg tingled beneath the thin layer of his threadbare jeans. “Yukhei likes Kunhang, right? I’ve seen them around campus together on study dates. They’re cute.”

“Yeah,” Mark said.

“I hope they skip the angsty bits and go right into the love,” Johnny said. He looked so good. He smelt so good. “They’ll have to be brave to get what they want, but it’ll prove worth it when it happens.”

“Yeah,” Mark said again, breathless. “Johnny, can I, like, kiss you?”

Johnny laughed. “Sure, but only if you want to.”

“I do,” Mark said, confident. Maybe it was the hot chocolate, or the appreciative noises Johnny had made while Mark deftly flicked through the slide transitions. Whatever it was, he had kind of come to the conclusion that Johnny liked Mark as he was. Even if he stepped in dog shit or got icecream in his hair. “I really want to kiss you, if that’s cool.”

Johnny laughed again. “It’s definitely cool,” he said. “If you let me take you for lunch sometime. Or dinner. Or a movie. Whatever you like.”

“Deal,” Mark said, before swinging his leg over Johnny’s to land soundly in his lap. He felt his cheeks turn red once again, but this time it was an exciting, breathless feeling, because Johnny’s eyes darkened and one hand came up to Mark’s face, his thumb stroking over his cheekbone.

“You’re so fucking hot,” Johnny said, almost absentminded. “I knew you had a crush before I knew who you even were, and then I saw you running track and god, all I could think about was kissing you, pushing you against a tree and watching you shake.”

The noise Mark made was inhuman. “Are you sure?” he asked, squeaky. “I’m kind of weird looking.”

Johnny frowned. “No you’re not. You have insane cheekbones; your eyes are like… the epitome of doe eyes, your smile is _radiant_. You’re fucking gorgeous, Mark.”

“Oh,” he said, somewhere between popping a boner and crying. “Thanks, man. I think you are too.”

Johnny grinned, his thumb still rubbing gently against Mark’s skin. His other hand came up to grip Mark’s waist, tight but not too tight. Just firm enough. “I used to get teased in high school for looking like that one Dr Seuss character.”

The only Dr Seuss film Mark had seen was the Cat in the Hat, and in his eyes Johnny didn’t look anything like Mike Myers’ fursona, so the claim didn’t faze him. “I don’t think you look like him,” Mark said. “And I still want to kiss you.”

Johnny’s smile deepened, becoming something sticky like honey, slow and warm. “I’m waiting,” he said. “Kiss me.”

So Mark did.

It didn’t feel like any of his Johnny-centric fantasies, at first. It felt like any other kiss, a little too hesitant, their lips too dry, Mark nervous and clumsy.

Then Johnny put both of his hands on Mark’s ass and squeezed, and Mark’s brain flew out of his head and into the sky. The next thing he knew Johnny’s tongue was in his mouth and Mark was making pathetic, needy noises in the back of his throat, hands threaded into Johnny’s silky hair.

“God,” Johnny groaned, pulling away momentarily to bite possessively at Mark’s neck, “You’re something else, you really are. You looked so fucking innocent, Mark, where the hell did that go?”

And, well, without Johnny’s tongue in his mouth, Mark had free reign to talk as much as his heart desired, his brain taking no part in the decision process. “You think?” he asked, eyes rolling back as Johnny scored his skin with the sharp edges of his teeth. “I kind of go crazy about you. Is that weird? You’re the reason I bought a dildo. You’re the reason I bought a vibrator too, though I still don’t really know where to put it. You could – “ he broke off again as Johnny pulled him down and ground their hips together, and yeah, that was definitely a double boner scenario, there were definitely two erections there,“ – You could show me what to do with it? If you want to?”

“I want to,” Johnny said, hands sliding from Mark’s ass to his waist again up and beneath his shirt, tracing the lines of his ribs, the faint hair on his stomach. He scratched Mark’s nipples and Mark squeaked, jerking beneath the touch. Hell, Yukhei had never done anything with his nipples. Was that a thing? If it wasn’t, it was definitely going to become one.

“Can I jerk you off?” Mark asked, staring down at where Johnny’s erection was painfully evident through his sweatpants. Mark was doing his best not to drool, but this was definitely the best midday of his life. Excuse him if he drooled a little over the man of his dreams and the dick of his wet dreams.

Johnny squeezed his eyes shut. “You’re going to kill me,” he muttered. His eyes opened, “Yeah, Mark, you can jerk me off.”

“Awesome,” Mark breathed, reaching down to stroke his fingers over Johnny’s erection through the sweatpants. Even that made Johnny buck up, so Mark braced himself a little higher to allow Johnny to pull down his sweats, freeing his cock.

_Oh._

“It’s pretty,” Mark said. He spat into his hand and reached down, stroking Johnny with the kind of grip he’d use on himself, tight but a little teasing. It seemed to work, because Johnny’s chest stuttered, and then his hands were reaching down to unzip Mark’s jeans and touch him with the same kind of breathless intensity.

“Both,” he said, hands retuning to Mark’s ass, nails digging crescents into the skin, “Both, baby, come on, you deserve it too.”

God. Was this a praise kink? Was Mark developing some kind of complex? Because he did exactly as Johnny told him to before he could even think about it, pausing to wrestle out of his jeans before sliding back into Johnny’s lap, this time wrapping his hands around both of their cocks, slippery with spit and precum, the sensation of his hands and Johnny’s cock almost too much.

Johnny urged him on, hands still digging into his ass appreciatively, murmuring filthy encouragements for him to rock his hips into it. He moved one hand to wrap around Mark’s, squeezing tighter, and then pulled Mark down to kiss again.

Mark came embarrassingly fast after that, but he was too out of his mind to feel any self-consciousness. He settled back instead, watching Johnny stroke himself with his head back, coated in Mark’s cum. “If you get hard again, I’ll suck your cock,” Mark said. He couldn’t stop staring. “It’s so pretty.”

Johnny came pretty much immediately after that, which was a pleasant stroke to Mark’s blossoming ego.

“Wow,” he said, panting up at the ceiling. “I forgot about the hot chocolate.”

Mark looked behind him at their drinks, long since cold. He pouted. “Damn.”

“It’s fine, I’ll make us some more,” Johnny said. He finally found the strength to lift his head and meet Mark’s eyes, and this time it was Johnny that was blushing. His golden skin was rosy as he grinned abashedly. “You wanna stay for another hot chocolate without the pretence of my PowerPoint skills, Mark Lee? You wanna maybe grab some food with me and make out and tell me about your hobbies and friends and dreams?”

“I do,” Mark said. “I really want to. Johnny, I have a crush on you.”

Johnny started laughing. “I know, Mark.”

“I just thought I should tell you face to face how I feel,” Mark said, earnest. “Honesty is the best policy.”

“Well, I have a crush on you too,” Johnny said. His eyes were so warm, and up close they were even more beautiful than being spotted through flashing lights and the dense wall of a crowd. Up close there was more depth to the colour, more honey to the coffee. “We were meant to do the date before the dicks came out, but hell, I’m not complaining. Consider me extra interested in the Mark Lee who keeps his pants on. I’m excited to see both sides of the moon.”

Mark giggled. “Was that an ass joke?”

“Maybe, maybe not. Which would you rather?”

“I don’t mind,” Mark admitted. “As long as you mean it. That you still want to go on a date with me, that is.”

“I mean it,” Johnny said, eyes soft. “Be brave, Mark, you’ve been doing so well, I’m so fucking proud of you, baby. Do you want it too?”

Too scared of his options, it turned out there was another scenario Mark hadn’t planned ahead for. One where he shares a shower with Johnny, kissing and laughing beneath the spray, then borrows a clean shirt and they go out for food. One where Johnny walks him home and kisses him at the door, and then Mark spends a solid three hours telling Yukhei to go after what he wants and finally ask Kunhang on a real date. One where he goes to any party he likes, sure of his invite, and midway through the night arms wrap around his waist and a kiss is pressed onto his neck.

One where he goes home with Johnny and they watch cat videos on Johnny’s phone until they’re both asleep, entwined. One where Johnny makes Mark hot chocolate almost every morning, and Mark is always there to drink it, hot or cold.

One where he steps in dog shit and Johnny laughs, but escorts him home to change his shoes. One where he spills pasta down his shirt and Johnny passes him a napkin. One where Johnny gets so drunk that red wine comes out of his nose and Mark is the one that has to wipe it away. One where neither of them are perfect or Popular, they’re just two boys falling in love as they grow together, two flowers reaching toward the same sun, the same sky.

“Yeah,” Mark said, certain. “I want it too.”

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos/Bookmarks/Comments always welcome! You can find me on twitter @mntsnflrs :) xo


End file.
